Works for Me Wednesday

Before I say anything else I want to make it clear that I don’t know anything about losing weight. I’m just a mom who finally figured out how to lose a few pounds. Not a lot, and not all of them that I need to lose, (just ask my Wii fit) but a few.

#1  -  I stopped listening to the experts.

It’s not that I think fitness and weight loss experts don’t know what they’re talking about, or that I don’t think it’s important to understand the facts and new information when it comes to eating and exercising. I just can’t do it all.

I’m a perfectionist. I don’t do everything right all the time, I just don’t want to do anything unless I can do it perfectly. So, when I read about all the things I’m not supposed to eat (sugar, white bread, white rice, bad fat, processed food) and all the things I’m supposed to eat (fruits, vegetables, whole grains, good fats, a bazillion different minerals and vitamins) and how I’m supposed to exercise (every day, in the morning, before eating, with weights, on a treadmill, uphill, downhill, for 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 120 minutes for the rest of my life) I feel like I have to do ALL of that. I can’t!! I can’t even keep track of it all. Do you know how hard it is to find whole grain bread, that’s really whole grain, (not fake whole grain) that doesn’t have sugar as one of the first 5 ingredients?!?! I don’t think there is such a thing. Except for maybe Ezekiel bread, which tastes like cardboard.

I decided to stop trying to do what the experts said I should do and just concentrate on doing what I could do.

#2  -  I did what was easy.

I made the decision many times to start working out. Usually my plan was to work out every day. I tried Tae Bo, Pilates, T-Tapp… I tried running but I really hate running. HATE it. I started hiking the mountain near my house once. I really enjoyed it and stuck with it for quite a while but things changed and I wasn’t able to fit it into my routine anymore. I was trying to do what the experts said I should do and usually hated it, dreaded it and had a hard time making it work with my life. Every day when I woke up I groaned in my head at the thought of having to do whatever exercise I had chosen for the moment.

Eventually I just quit.

This year I decided I would just walk for 20 minutes 3 times a week. Just 20 minutes, just walking, just 3 times a week. I don’t mind walking. I have a treadmill and, because I like to hike, I decided to max out the incline on my treadmill during my 20 minute walk. It was a little harder, but not something I dreaded, and 20 minutes was something I could easily fit into my schedule.

After a month or two I found myself looking forward to my walk after work so I started doing it every day. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Then I decided I could run for a minute. Just a minute. And then I ran for a minute twice. And then I ran faster for half a minute. I enjoyed challenging myself and my body. Honestly, I have to work now to not let exercising take over my life. I could easily work out for almost 2 hours (with a few breaks to catch my breath) between the treadmill and some DVDs I have. I try not to do that, though, because I don’t want to start doing something I can’t maintain, and I don’t want working out to take priority over my family.

I could have just as easily decided to walk to my neighbors house and back if that was all I could bear the thought of. I just started doing something, but not so much that I hated the thought of doing it every day.

I don’t LOVE working out and there are certainly times when I really don’t want to do it. Sometimes I just don’t do it, And other times I decide just to do my 20 minute walk.

#3  -  I stopped trying to lose weight.

It’s not that I didn’t want to lose weight, but that’s not what motivated me to start this time and stick with it.

I’ve never made a real all-out attempt to lose weight. I’d given it some half hearted attempts, but after a few weeks, when my clothes didn’t start falling off and the scale wasn’t moving, I gave up.

Then I started taking the stairs at work. I work on the fourth floor and had to get to work early so I could catch my breath before I had to get on the phones. I hated those stairs but made myself take them because it was such a little thing, and when I was a stay at home mom I was jealous of all the people who could take the stairs like the fitness expert said. This was my chance.

I made the decision to start walking because I wanted to be healthier. I wanted to be able to take the stairs without needing a 5 minute recovery period. So when I didn’t lose weight right away it didn’t matter. I wasn’t failing. The scale wasn’t proof that all my hard work was wasted. Eventually the scale moved and I had to buy a belt, but that was just icing on the cake.

#4  -  I don’t get hungry.

I eat every time I feel hungry. I tried not snacking at work but came home so hungry that I inhaled several hundred calories of junk food within 20 minutes of getting home. So now, Even if it’s an hour before dinner, I’ll eat something small if my stomach starts to growl. I try to keep protein bars in my purse. I bake bran muffins to bring to work and keep around the house.

I try to eat healthier foods when I’m hungry. I find my craving for junk food isn’t as strong if I keep myself full on healthy food. I feel hungrier sometimes after eating some fruits and vegetables, so while I do try to eat more of those, they don’t really work for me as a “keep myself from getting hungry” snack. I know that carbs a supposed to be bad but I feel full longer if I include them in my meals.

#5  -  I eat foods I like.

I’m not eating pizza every night with cheesecake for desert and chocolate cake for a midnight snack. But if I want a piece of cheese cake, I’m going to have it. The funny thing is, once I started working out I started thinking about my food differently without even wanting to or choosing too. I would pick up a candy bar and think about how long I have to walk to burn those calories. “Is this worth an hour of walking?” Sometimes it is and I enjoy every bite. Sometimes it’s not, and even if it’s just a couple of M&Ms, it’s easier to say no. And sometimes it’s not worth an hour, but is worth 20 minutes, so I’ll have a couple of bites and leave the rest.

I also don’t make myself eat yucky food just because it’s healthier. Those protein bars I keep with me all the time? They’re the yummy ones. Some of those things are pretty nasty. I don’t eat those. I will by low fat versions of some foods IF it tastes as good as the full fat version. I eat regular yogurt because the light stuff has fake sugar in it. I hate fake sugar. I buy low fat mayo, ranch dressing and sour cream because I really don’t notice a difference in taste.

BONUS RULE

I stopped trying to do what worked for other people.

I used to read stories about DVD’s, exercising schedules, diet plans etc. that worked for people. They lost tens and hundreds of pounds and several sizes. If it worked for them, it can work for me, right? WRONG. I was forgetting that these people are different than me. They have different attention spans, different tastes, different schedules, different obligations. What they did, I might not have time to do. What they eat, I may hate. (Like those instant shake things. No wonder people lose weight when they drink those! I felt sick to my stomach the rest of the day!) And what they think is a fun exercise, I may consider a form of torture.

The same goes for this list here. Maybe you need something much more structured. If you need tasks to check off and rules to follow, that’s ok. What I really want you to get out of all of this is that you have to find what works for you. Just try something. If it doesn’t work for you, it’s ok. Try something else until you find something you don’t hate.

I hope by now you’ve had a chance to read the books I recommended that motivate me to get rid of all the junk in my house: Clutter’s Last Stand and It’s All Too Much. If so, I bet you’ve got a lot less stuff in your house right now. I know it’s hard sometimes. We think we’ll need all of that stuff, someday – when we have more time, when we have more kids, when we get a bigger house, when we move to Hawaii. We really don’t need any of it. And the benefits we’ll experience because we got rid of it will far outweigh any benefit from having it on hand if we ever need it.

The next step is to figure out what to do with the stuff we are keeping. You don’t have to keep all this stuff forever. As you get rid of things and figure out that you not only can live without them, but that you can live better without them, you’ll be motivated to get rid of more.

We’re always going to have things, though. If we don’t figure out where to put it all, our house is going to be a mess.

I mentioned before that I love reading about organizing, but not much of what I’ve read has been much help. There are two books, though, that have changed the way I look at organizing.

Many years ago I saw Julie Morgenstern on TV and bought her book, Organizing from the Inside Out. What was different about her approach is that she didn’t tell me what containers to get or the “right” way to organize a filing cabinet. She told me to look at my trouble areas, figure out why they are trouble areas and then think about a new way to do things.

Here’s an example of how that worked for me. I love to read. I’ve usually got more than 20 (or 30) books checked out of the library at any given time and lots of magazines that I’m trying to read.

When my kids were little I used to sit outside and read while they played in the front yard. When it was time to go inside my reading material ended up on the coffee table, the floor near the door, next to the couch, the entertainment center or any other spot that was easy to reach. It wasn’t pretty.

While reading Organizing from the Inside Out I realized that this was an area I needed to work on. I did have a home for my reading material, a bookshelf that was in another room, they just never made it there. I moved that bookshelf to the living room, right behind the door, and literally never had a problem butting my books where they belonged again.

The House that Cleans Itself by Mindy Starns Clark  uses the same basic philosophy – work with your natural tendencies instead of trying to force yourself to behave in a way that isn’t natural. What I love about this book is that she takes you step by step through finding trouble zones, figuring out solutions and setting up your house, room by room, to require less work. I’ll show you what that looks like with before and after pictures from a room in my own house later.

BONUS BOOK

A few months ago I checked out 30 Days to a Simpler Life by Chris Evatt and Connie Cox.. I was looking for a book about being less busy but this book is actually about simplifying your life by getting by with less stuff, one day at a time. (The first little part of each “day” is a short project. The rest of the suggestions will take more than one day.) For example, choose one or two nail polish colors that you like and get rid of the rest. Use towel hooks instead of towel bars so you don’t have to fold your towels every time you hang them up. Move rarely used kitchen utensils to a box on a top shelf in your kitchen. Or better yet, get rid of them. No more digging through a drawer full of stuff you use once a year to find something you use every day.

I just love this little book. The chapters are short and offer a ton of great tips on simplifying different areas of your life. I won’t be using all of them but there are enough good ones to make this a book worth reading.

Have you read any of these books? What solutions have you found for your trouble zones?

I’m an organization junkie. That doesn’t mean that everything is in it’s place in my house. Just wait till you see… While I’m terrible at keeping things organized I do like order. I like looking for systems that will keep me organized and make things as easy and automatic as possible.

Over the years I have read countless books and magazine articles about getting organized. With all of the information on the topic I’ve taken in I should have the cleanest, most organized house in the state, or at least on the street. I don’t. Most organizing articles I’ve read have told me that a country cute basket and $5 plastic shoe organizer will solve my organizing problems. They didn’t. And most books I’ve read are full of charts and schedules and new ways to label files that I couldn’t keep up with. BUT, there are areas of my house and my life that are more organized and work better because of things I’ve learned in those books and magazines and there is a difference in the way my house looks today compared to my house 10 years ago. The ideas that have made the biggest difference in my home can be broken down into 2 categories – getting rid of stuff and working with your (and your family’s) natural tendencies.

GETTING RID OF STUFF

I have a love/hate relationship with stuff. I feel claustrophobic around too much stuff. I like clean surfaces, open spaces and order. Unfortunately I really like gadgets and tools, too. I like to have just the right thing available when I need it. Partly because I’m lazy and the right tool can make any task easier, and partly because I’m a perfectionist and the right tool can ensure that things are done RIGHT. I do think I chose the right name for this blog, don’t you?

I also like books. I really like books. And magazines. And choices. I like lots of choices because what if I’m not in the mood for the king sized pillow and want to use my standard sized pillow? And I’m a “I might need it some day and what if it’s not made any more or I can’t afford to buy another one” kind of girl, too. Do you see my problem?

I have 2 books that make me want to get rid of everything I own and sleep in a cardboard box. I read them every couple of years when I’m feeling overwhelmed with my stuff. I never really get rid of everything I should but things get a little better each time, and when I decide I can live without something I’m usually able to keep it, and it’s kind, out of my house forever.

Clutter’s Last Stand by Don Asslett is a classic.

He tells you not only why clutter makes life harder, but he’ll give you permission to get rid of certain things, like books. Have I mentioned I love books? I love looking at them, and reading them, I love the way the feel and I love the way they smell. I really love books. It feels so wrong to throw books away. All that smooth paper and black ink, the binding, the pretty cover… I try to give books away whenever possible but sometimes a book just isn’t worth passing on – like a 2005 Writer’s Market, or a 2000 guide to DisneyLand… If anyone’s going to need those, they’re better off getting the updated version than getting my outdated one. When I get done reading this book I’m itching to get rid of EVERYTHING!

My other favorite get-rid-of-all-the-junk book is It’s All Too Much by Peter Walsh.

He talks about what hanging onto things costs us, too, but what I love most about this book is that he breaks the process of decluttering into non-scary chunks, like The Trash Bag Tango. Every day spend 10 minutes going through your house with 2 bags – one for garbage and one for items to give away. You can do this with a third bag for items to sell, but me? I would just end up with a huge pile of “to sell” clutter so I give it away or throw it away. That’s not so hard, right? Imagine how much better your house would look after just a week of this.

I’ll share my favorite organizing books in a future post AND I’ll show you some before and after pictures of my house. Don’t worry, I’ll warn you first so if you have a weak stomach you can skip those posts. While you’re waiting, run to the library and get these books. They really are great motivators.